Self Love: A journey that never ends

I was struck with inspiration to write this post after watching a particular video late last night. “Meet The Korean Girl Who Survived 95% Burns” by Asian Boss somehow appeared on my recommended videos on Youtube. I was curious about this lady’s story, so I clicked.

After watching the entire video, the one thing that struck me so very deeply was the lady’s courage and bravery. In a society that judges and prioritises physical appearances so highly, having greatly visible burn scars and going out in public must take a huge dose of mental strength indeed. Because I have social anxiety, what I saw in the video moved me so much and inspired me greatly. Here’s a beautiful woman who doesn’t let fear of others’ judgement get in the way of displaying her scars and living a normal life.

Personally, on bad days when I feel like I look terrible, I’d feel so self conscious the moment I step out of the house. Even when strangers give me a mere brief glance, I can’t seem to just let it go. My mind magnifies every little single thing and I go into my overthinking mode. “Is there something on my face? Are they looking at that blasted pimple that’s popping right at the corner of my lower left chin? Is my hair all over the place and revealing my high forehead?” These are just some of the many thoughts that swarm my head, their negativity threatening to bring me down. Even when people tell me I’m pretty, I would always take it with a pinch of salt and automatically assume that they’re just being polite.

Often, you are your greatest enemy when it comes to judging your own appearance (this is me). But I hate being like this. I hate being so critical about my own self. I hate how I’m being so superficial and shallow, constantly concerned about physical appearances when there are other things that matter so much more like inner beauty. I want to change, to learn to love myself for who I am, for all my perfections and imperfections. There was one sentence in the video which resonated deeply with me and that is “If you want other people to like you, you have to like yourself first.”

My progress is slow but at least I’m doing something about it. These days, when I wake up in the morning, I’d look into the mirror and repeat positive affirmations to give myself a mental boost – like how a shot of caffeine at the start of the day works as a pick-me-up. My current favourite quote that I read somewhere is: Don’t let others’ opinion of you determine your own true value. Indeed, this is what I need to work on. I have to stop prioritising what strangers who don’t even know who I am as a person, affect the way I think about myself.

Some days, I’m successful and confident. Other days, not so much. But after all, the journey of self love is a marathon not a race, so I shall take my time and inch forward one tiny step at a time.

For all my readers out there, I hope you know you’re beautiful. If you don’t, I’ll tell you right here and right now: YOU are beautiful. Now repeat this to yourself every morning, and have a good day 🙂

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